Next stop… Whores!
Archive for August, 2010
The Broke & Homeless
Aug 20th
Earlier this week I traveled down to Southern California to see some family. I wouldn’t call it a good trip, but whatever… I got off work for most of the week, so that was good. On my way home I stopped in Salinas for gas… This is something I would not advise anyone to do in the future.
Let’s see… It was shortly after midnight when I pulled into the Arco station. I needed gas, and I had to pee badly. Before I could even start pumping gas this Mexican guy comes up to me:
- Mexican: hey man.. can you spare some change?
- Me: Sorry… I don’t have any.
He walked off toward the street and started examining the flower beds… At this point I am assuming he is looking for cigarettes. Not more than 30 seconds later a white guy comes out of nowhere and says:
- Whitey: I’ve been trying to get something to eat all night… can you spare some change?
- Me: Sorry… I don’t have any.
- Whitey: Can i check your car seats for change?
- Me: Um no… there is none… sorry.
He starts looking thru the windows of my car, and then finally walks off toward the hotel next door. At this point I am totally creeped out, and the Mexican guy is still lingering around near me acting like he is still searching for cigarettes. Then… swear to god…. like 15 seconds later a black guy walks up to me… who knows where that fool came from… and says:
- Blacky: You got any change?
- Me: Sorry… I don’t have any.
- Blacky: You got an ATM card?
- Me: I don’t have anything.
- Blacky: Fuck you!
He walks over to the next gas pump and sits down. Ok… I don’t care if the car is not full… I stop the pump, and start putting the gas cap back on. The Mexican guy comes back over:
- Mexican: hey man… you smoke?
- Me: Nope. Sorry.
I get back in my car… lock the doors… and head back to the freeway. I realize that I need to pee still, so I go a little deeper into Salinas, and again… head to a gas station. As I pull in I don’t see any crazy homeless anywhere, so I run in and pee. When I come out of the bathroom some woman is standing near my car. I walk quietly and quickly to my car.
- Lady: Excuse me… Do you…
- Me: Nope.. I don’t have anything!
I jumped in the car and took off. What the fucking hell?? Talk about depression n shit. Never again will I stop in Salinas for anything especially after midnight!!! Well unless it’s In & Out… OK!
What I Is Watchurn
Aug 18th
Everyone knows I typically only watch critically-acclaimed dramas, comedies, and dramadies on television. I keep a high standard when evaluating what I devote my time to, and especially to the type of programming that I allow my children to see. But I must admit, every now and then I can’t help but indulge in a little guilty, naughty pleasure. Currently that dirty little cholo of a pleasure is Bad Girls Club 5: Miami.
These bitches absolutely kill me. I ran through three episodes last night to catch up on the season and couldn’t believe some of the ridiculous things they said! I could have sworn I was actually watching the D@2 Girls Club based on these quotes:
- One girl goes out with a few others while the others pack her bags and throw ‘em outside, telling her she needs to leave coz majority rules. She comes home to find this and says: “It’s like a hate crime. A modern day hate crime.”
- Randomly one girl says: “Everybody is so into themselves and so diluted.”
- Another girl had a birthday two days before they moved in and stupidly thought she could wait to celebrate with the girls in the house. They told her off, but later wished her happy bday, to which she replied: “Oh it’s delated. It’s not a big deal.”
- They go to a bar with a stripper pole, and a bitch says: “All I see when I look up is money everywhere. I feel so at home. I approve.”
- In confessional one bitch says: “I’m here to party and have a good time. For me, that’s going out and dancing, and hooking up with whoever’s around.”
- The Catholic girl gets a tattoo with the other girls, knowing it’ll piss her mom off. Later, on the phone, they have this conversation:
Bitch – Mommy, don’t be mad at me.
Mommy – You know what? You’re 24 years old and you act like an idiot.
Bitch – Does this mean I can’t get a puppy?
… later in the conversation …
Bitch – It’s not like I’m Jewish! If I was Jewish I couldn’t get buried somewhere with you.
Kill.
Ling.
Me.
Hoarder Of Bikes
Aug 18th
This is going to be me if I buy anymore bikes. I am just one person and I own 3 bikes. I think someone needs to call Hoarders and tell them about me 
Santa Maria Gays
Aug 16th
So I’m in SoCal (technically the central coast but whatever), and look what I found on Grindr. At first I thought it was Gary Ke$ha, but nope just your basic tragedy.
Cartagena #2
Aug 11th
We are in Cartagena. I spent probably 5 hours in the pool today…It’s hotter than Judith Troll’s chichis out here and I have about 20 mosquito bites on just one calf…let alone the behemoth I call my entire body. I’m getting malaria no doubt.
But the sunset was so pretty. So I snapped these shots.
PS. I miss the huhns.
Gary Jr. NOT in Colombia as Still Being Reported
Aug 10th
Gary Jr. isn’t in Colombia. She lied.
She’s given up on LoseIt to cut out pounds and has instead begun the extreme SleepOnStreets diet as evidenced by this paparazzi shot of her taken this morning on Montgomery and Sutter, just a block from Escape from New York pizza and multiple fro-yo shops.
Yahoo Comments
Aug 14th
Posted by Nick in Posts by Nick
3 comments
I read Yahoo news sometimes and I have to tell you that the comments I see sometimes are truly frightening! It seriously makes me sick that there are so many people who think this way in this country. It is evident that our education system is failing on every level. The amount of hate people have is disgusting!!! What do you think:
Yahoo Comments on Gay Marriage/Prop 8 Decision:
“die you sick trash, there is nothing cool about being gay”
“eww don’t touch me you HIV bag”
“try to get married in my town and you find yourself hanging from a tree. “
“maybe death camps weren’t a bad idea after all”
Yahoo Comments on Muslims/Mosque at Ground Zero:
“i agree with george. this is a christian nation ” one nation under GOD, indivisible, with liberty and justice for all. not one nation under mohammed with beheadings for the infidels…. don’t like go move back to islamic lands…”
“Islam is not a religion…it is a CULT! And as such, should be illegal!”
“The only reason that a mosque is being built near ground zero is because Obozo is a muslim… That is the only reason and that he promised Bloomberg something! Any other president would not of let this happen! I have never been so ashamed of a president!”
“Okay Real Americans, hunting season is about to begin, no limit on muslims, there will be a big herd of them at the site of the world trade center soon.”
Yahoo Comments on Obama:
“Blame the white girl who got jungle fever in kenya”
“
“That is the ugliest family in America. Burn in HELL Obama’s ! ! ! Take you NY Mosque with you”
“forgive me as i am becoming a racist… where do i sign up for the kkk”
“Normally I have no wish to cause harm to any other human being…But in this case… I’d ‘SKIN’ that leftist pig Obama AND his wife with a pair of vice-grips…
Sadly this is the country we live in, and these are the fucking morons who are going to get republicans voted back into office. Great! We are all doomed!