Congratulations to the first ever World Cup Our Balls champions — SPAIN!!! Spain has so many hot players. Villa, Fabregas, Valdes, Casillo, Torres! OMG. But not Puyol. Oops. Definitely the hottest team in the tournament.

Ooooh la la papi come over to mami, yes. Huhhhhnnn cup your balls then spin around like a dancing queen in my bedroom. Naked. Yes. Spain. Ole! Moo.

And the Golden Booty was a tie, bitches. Because Gary Jr. didn’t vote. But since I run this shit, I get to break the tie.

FABREGAS wins!! Yay. Hot. Hottest player in the tournament to be exact. And he wants his own show…