January 3, 2011 - 8:35 AM
Tags: coworker, crumbs, fucking nasty pig, I'll Eat It, mooch, Mother's cookies, plate, Ritz crackers, so what, who cares
Posted in I'll Eat It | 6 comments
I forgot all about this story but my coworker told Misha all about it while we were hanging out this weekend. Of course, she waited until the moment I went to the bathroom to secretly tell Misha the story. My coworker was sitting at her desk and I stopped by to chat. She had just [...]
December 31, 2010 - 12:01 AM
Tags: best of 2010, bookshelf, dead, Deadruntz, greatest moments, laughs, not-so-deep thoughts, return'd to sender, shitter, Shouldn't Have Said It Then, so what, Sweetums Series, trolls, who cares, year in review
Posted in D@2 Crew | 10 comments
Yeah yeah. It’s been a year. Wanna fight about it? Remember all those good laughs and poignant moments you had reading our blog whilst you shat on the shitter. Well here they all are again. Ladies and Trolls, drum roll please. It’s our D@2 Year in Review. Love it or die! Best Overall Post / [...]
December 22, 2010 - 11:48 AM
Tags: blanket, blood pool in my left eye, chest cold, couch, flu, I should be single after everything I put him through, I'm disgusting, loogie, mucus, pneumonia, poor misha, so what, who cares
Posted in So What! Who Cares?!? | 8 comments
I was incredibly sick for the last two weeks. I had the flu; I threw up; I busted blood vessels in my eye; I had crazy thick chest congestion…and poor Misha stood by me through thick and thin (mostly thick). One night we were sitting on the couch and I was wrapped in a blanket. [...]
So my parents came to visit this weekend. While having Cornish hens I saw my dad jabbing a steak knife deep into his mouth. “Oh! My! God! Dad! What are you doing?? Why are you jabbing a steak knife in and out of your mouth?!?” He looks at me rolls his eyes and says, “I [...]
December 6, 2010 - 11:09 PM
Tags: benutty drolls, dragqueenism, earphone jack, fingernails, goddamnit, iPhone, lucky penny toilets, nasty cow, nick opines, so what, white plastic, who cares
Posted in So What! Who Cares?!? | 3 comments
All last week I’ve been complaining about my iPhone. The headphones keep crapping out and I only can hear out of the left ear. I had to keep pushing the headphones in and twisting it around in order to get a good connection. Nick, of course, had an absolute opinion as to why my phone [...]
So this morning I woke up to Misha grinning from ear to ear. “What’s your deal?” I ask. “You don’t remember what you did last night, do you?” he responds. “I did nothing other than sleep. Why?” “So you don’t remember pulling the covers off me and blowing me in your sleep?” I don’t remember [...]
Watch this or die. Scroll to :43. Or watch the whole thing, it’s only a minute long. So what! Who cares?!?
Nick and/or Gary Jr. may have had a stroke. But I’m not telling you who. So cares! Who what? May is Strokes Awareness Month. STOP strokes Strokes are sudden. Notice changes in the person that just occurred suddenly. Risks include SMOKING, being TIPSY, OBESITY, PHYSICAL INACTIVITY, being a cow or a pig, or having it in [...]
I had a zit on the inside of my nose once. It was painful. Like a deep pain. I could see a whitehead forming inside my nostril but I just couldn’t get to it. So I figured it would eventually go away. And it did. Then a few days later, a new zit appeared. This [...]
A few weeks ago I applied for a job and played phone tag with the recruiter. She left me a message saying that they would like to interview me and she confirmed a date. So I called her back and got her voicemail. This was the voice message I left for her: “Hi. This is Gary Jr. [...]
June 23, 2010 - 9:32 AM
Nasty! You had me scared for a moment.
June 23, 2010 - 10:23 AM
Are you drunk?
June 23, 2010 - 10:36 AM
now that I am done vomiting all over my desk at work… you are a nasty bitch…
what is with the hair on your body… LOL… maybe they were cow whiskers.
June 23, 2010 - 10:37 AM
Seriously. I have no idea why my body hates me. I treat it soooo well.
But these ingrown hairs are going to be the death of me.
June 23, 2010 - 5:24 PM
Can you Please please please please PLEASE start all future ingrown hair posts with a huge CAUTION (in red font) at the beginning? That’ll signify to me that I can not read it.