So Misha and I went to the beach this weekend. Alameda has a really cute little strip of beach. And there were tons of kids and families playing. Anyway, I stripped down to my cutie little panties. And did  a little sunbathing. My milky whiteness almost instantly burned. And you know how fat I am and sensitive so I was pretty nervous to be so exposed on the beach.

Anyway, this family walks by us and I hear this little kid start laughing and then I heard him saying, “Oh my god. Look at that. Hahahaha.” Then I hear Misha call him a little bastard. So I roll over and see this huge Samoan family and a fat little Samoan kid pointing and laughing at me.

I take off my sunglasses and look right at the fat little mess before me. And I yell out, “Take it all in, fatty. You’re looking into your future, chub boy!” That shut him up.

So What! Who cares?!?