Before I came out to a lot of my friends when I was around 19 or 20 years old, we used to go to Centerfolds Strip Club to see all the lovely ladies. I didn’t really go to see the ladies obviously. I went to see my straight guy friends get boners in their pants. It was like… Yea you go get your lap dance and then walk back over here giving me perfect viewing of your business. Of course every once in a while I would buy a lap dance to take attention away from my sexuality (even though all those fools knew).

One of the first times I went to Centerfolds I got a lap dance from a girl named Dakota. I remember after my first lap dance with her, she sat down next to me and asked me:

  • Dakota: Did you enjoy that?
  • Me: Yea…
  • Dakota: Are you sure? I usually get a better reaction then that
  • Me: Oh… no it was good.
  • Dakota: You’re gay huh?
  • Me: Kinda
  • Dakota: It’s pretty obvious… you didn’t get hard.
  • Me: Sorry
  • Dakota: Do your friends know?
  • Me: No
  • Dakota: Ok. Go ahead and go back… I’ll come by and flirt with you later.

So I returned to the table that my friends were at, and lied about how great it was. About 20 minutes later Dakota came by our table, and sat down in my lap.

  • Dakota: I really enjoyed our time together earlier… how about another dance… on the house.

This continued every time I went to Centerfolds. Eventually most of the girls knew I was gay, and they would always come up and flirt with me. They would give me free dances all the time. All my friends were so jealous that I got all the attention. I loved it though… I thought it was fun.

Eventually I stopped going when I came out to everyone. I hung out with Dakota a couple times outside of Centerfolds until she moved to Arizona for school. Before she moved she told me that the reason all the girls would give me free lap dances is because they had a bet to see who could get me hard first. Hellz no bitches! Never happened.

And that… is one of Nick’s Greatest Moments.