Ok, bitches. If you haven’t heard of Chatroulette yet then you’re lucky. It’s a goddamn mess. But if you’re unlucky like me then you were probably hanging out at the Haus of Hunnies on Thursday when Gary Jr. introduced us all to it. (Sidebar: he actually introduced us to the very vulgar and gay alternative, Manroulette, where the chatroom is a revolving door of one filthyoldmancockshot after another).

  • Quick explanation = Chatroulette is an internet sensation with the idea that if you have a webcam you will be randomly put into a one-on-one chatroom with another user where you can see each other and talk and have a good time. But the catch is that everyone has the ability to F9/Next the other person, causing each of you to be instantly paired with another stranger! And it can go on and on like this for hours!! But too bad if you get Next’d too many times within a certain timeframe then they stall your ability to “play” for 10 minutes, wah wah!

Like I said, it’s a goddamn mess — even if you do meet your new boyfriend there — and you should probably never visit the site. Instead, look at all the wonderful people Amelia Bearhart was unlucky enough to meet the other night:

  1. Marvin the Martian wearing nothing but red panties and loving my hairpin
  2. Teenage French guys taking shots of cheap tequila, then going psycho-hate-crime on me
  3. Headless wonder in the tub
  4. Faceless Chilean asking come estas all the time pero no hablo espanol aqui papi

Good times, but seriously this is why 3rin should never let me have the apartment to myself (even for just one night).