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Archive for April, 2010
Month in Media: April
Apr 30th
Let’s take a look at the things in entertainment that the D@2 bloggers loved most in the month of April!
Gary Jr.
YouTube — Jesse Tyler Ferguson Does Gaga
First, you know I love Modern Family and the gay couple. Well, what could be better than 1/2 of that gay couple singing a lounge version of Alejandro. Plus, you know how much I love loungey cocktail music. Damn. I want JTF’s babies…especially because he is gay in real life and I must therefore believe that he is also a chubby chaser (since everything on TV is true).
iPhone App — LoseIt
Yes, I jumped on the bandwagon this month thanks to Heifer 1 and Heifer 2. I’ve been dieting since April 1. I had a little set back this week only losing .5 pounds but since April 1, I have lost 8.5 pounds and 10.5 from my heaviest (which was mid-March).
Movie ReRun – Shaun of the Dead
It’s just so funny. It’s been on Comedy Central this month. I love that for the whole morning commute during the opening scenes everyone is dead tired and zombie-like and then 20 minutes those same scenes happen again except everyone around him is a zombie. I love zombie movies like nobody’s business. I even have zombie exit strategies. I think about this shit while I’m playing Catan in the restroom.
Music– Shampain by Martina and the Diamonds
So I’ve been riding my exercise bike a lot. And I’ve been grooving out to my jams. But let me tell you that I pump a lot faster when this Martina and the Diamonds diddy comes on the shuffle. The clip calls it Shampain Sleeper but it’s just Shampain. Also about 2 weeks ago, I tweeted some lyrics from this song and Nick got mad at me for drinking champagne when I should be dieting. Bitch, I was singing and not cheating. I feel celestial! Yyyes.
Benutty
Music – Mary J. Blige‘s “Stairway to Heaven“
This shit is amazing. I wasn’t too big of a fan of it when it first came out, but after seeing her perform it on American Idol I jumped on board. Compared to all the other idiots who performed awful renditions of otherwise good songs (see: Rihanna, Alicia Keys, Ke$ha, Adam Lambert) on the show, MJB proved that she’s still in the business for a reason! — she knows how to sing and how to put on a good show. And, seriously, who else could pull off a LZ song like that?
Glee Quote – Santana in “The Power of Madonna”
“It’ll be great for my image, and Sue will promote me to head cheerleader. It’s win-win.” This bitch is so classic. Love her to death. Nick told me there’s a rumor the Cheerios might get their own spin-off, and if Santana and Brittany are a part of it then it’ll surely be gaymazing.
iPhone App – We Rule
Hello! It’s Farmville meets Sim City and it is wondrous. I got everyone hooked on it and I can’t freaking wait until I grow enough broccoli to purchase my Magic Emporium and a second Watch Tower! Ooh girl, gotta go collect taxes from my cottages. Huhhnns. I kind of want an iPad just so I can play this on a bigger screen.
D@2 Post – Guest Blog by FrankieRose
I was proud of lil sis for coming up with such a great D@2-inspired post. Before she submitted this for the Guest Blogger contest she sent me the picture via text and I almost died. This killed me. Love that Gary Jr. is a secret real estate agent in Sacramento. I bet he can spread his legs for the Real Estate King like A. Bening does in A. Beauty.
Nick
Music – Ultrasound
So I found this shizzz on iTunes a couple weeks, and it’s totally gay and I love it!! Check it out and dance.
iPhone App – Blokus
Yes Hunnnsss. Blokus has an iPhone app and it’s so goodies you’lll gag with orgasms. It’s 4.99 right now but I am sure the price will lower soon.
YouTube Clip – Bathtub Fun
It really doesn’t matter what’s going on in this video… the guy in it is fucking hot. So turn it on and take your dicks out.
D@2 Post: Sweetums Premiere
Um Gary Jr. is a damn mess and this is the proof. Love it like a cold sore.
What Benutty Doesn’t Know
Apr 30th
is that Gael Greene (famed New York food critic) and also Pandora Boxx (from RuPaul’s Drag Race) have also tweeted me recently in addition to Mr. Santino Rice.
Gael Greene gave me her email address and told me she was willing to sell me some of her brooches but none of the beauties I saw on Top Chef Masters.
Pandora Boxx got hot and wet for my Russian boyfriend Misha.
Mmhmm. That’s correct, ladies. Gael Greene and the Boxx loved the PhaggyPhatPhuck.
Hearts and Kisses.
PS–I will be tweeting an image to Chelsea Handler shortly. 
How Does Gary Jr. Do It?!
Apr 30th
No like f’real, Pharell. How the freak does she do it?!
Gary Jr. stalks both strangers and celebs on Twitter and somehow, somewhere over the rainbow, this freaker gets responses from the most unlikely candidates! So jellz. Like this back-and-forth he had with one of our favorite judges on RuPaul’s Drag Race!
- – -
Gary Jr.: a pregnancy test? Like when you got me pregnant. I’m keeping it, Tino! I am!
Santino Rice: So what address do I need to send the child support to? LOL!
- – -
Impressive, Miss Jr., impressive indeed.
FML
Apr 29th
Thanks to this stupid blog and Nicks stupid stories Im sitting at Yancys with 3rin, HRH Hannah, Rayho and FrankieRose listening to women talk about passing blood clots.
“Welcome to 27, bitch!”
Getting Wet at the Bowl
Apr 29th
Yesterday I went to the Berkeley Bowl to pick up some veggies and guess who bagged my groceries?? Rene from Berkeley Bowl (I found his name out finally). Rene is the cutest little thing that walked this earth. He looks just like Misha. Like totally like Misha! Except Rene is a little bit of your typical Berkeley hipster. He has straighter hair than Misha but it’s in the form of a mullet…sorta of. And then he has a really long thin braid by his ear (hella Anakin Skywalker). But he has the angelic face of Misha. Anyway, he might sound gross to you but you kids know I love a hipster and if that hipster looks exactly like my sexy boyfriend…then I’m all over that shit…in theory…not in reality. Cuz I love my babes, Misha.
I’ve mentioned the bagger-hipster before to Nick and also to Misha…because for some reason I am always on the phone with one of them when I’m shopping for produce. Anyhoo, yesterday was my first encounter with Rene. He bagged my groceries! Yyyes! Huhnnns! I saw him walking over and I got all stupid nervous giddy like I do. He asked me, “Paper or plastic?” And I semi-grunted/laughed and then said “Uhh. Woooo. Heeeee. I brought my own bags. Snort.” And I quickly turned around and faced the cashier. Basically I’m hella sauve. Rene totally picked up on my awkward admiration and smiled and asked me if I needed any help out to my car. Now, I know he probably says that to everyone, but I’m pretty sure he meant it this time. I said no and smiled back…because if I asked him for help to the car that’s basically cheating on my boyfriend. Yeah, I’m crazy! Anyway.
As I left the store, there was a peal of thunder and out of nowhere there was a crazy downpour. Before, I made it to the car I was sopping … even though I had an umbrella. Mmhmm.
Nick’s Greatest Moments: The TMI Incident
Apr 28th
Has anyone ever said something that was so disturbing it scarred you for life? Well it happened to me 12 years ago or so. Vanessa and I were visiting our friend Elizabeth and her boyfriend Dave. Elizabeth is a very animated open person who loves animals more than any human in the world. She was raised by two lesbians who had the talent of knowing the one thing you were most self-conscience about, and then asking you about it in front of everyone. Dave is this older guy who has been struggling with diabetes for a long time. He has blurry vision and has even lost a toe due to an infection. It was pretty disturbing… well no… what was disturbing was the picture of his toe after it was removed that they had placed on their fridge. Anyways I never understood why they were dating but whatever.
So we were all sitting around watching like Buffy the Vampire Slayer or something, and all of a sudden Elizabeth squeals, jiggles around, and starts to laugh.
- Me: What was that about?
- Elizabeth: Do you really want to know?
- Dave: No, we don’t want to know
- Me: What?? Haha really… what was that about?
- Elizabeth: Wellllllll… I felt a blood clot pass.
- Me: What the fuck does that mean?
- Elizabeth: When it’s that time of month… sometimes you can feel a blood clot come out of your muff.
- Me: You’re kidding?
- Elizabeth: No… it’s like a thick lump of jelly that kind of drops out.
- Me: Ewwwwahhh!!! Gross!
You know even writing this right now is making me sick to my stomach. I have never been so thrilled to be gay in my entire life. I don’t know how you straights and lesbians can deal with such a horrific thing. I know I know… it doesn’t happen to everyone, but… barf!
And that… is one of Nick’s Greatest Moments.
Shelf’d It
Apr 26th
‘scuse me miss but would you mind holding my drink for a minute? … on your shelf!
