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All The Single Ladies…
Ten pieces of advice for all the Single Ladies out there…
1 – Always give a person a second date because nobody acts like themselves on the first date. Nerves are a bitch to overcome, and typically people are more relaxed on their second date.
2 – Have sex within the first 3 dates, because sexual compatibility is very important.
3 – A good relationship is 50% attraction and 50% personality, so no matter how attracted you are to someone don’t rush into anything until you get to know them better.
4 – Never take your date to a movie theatre. Wait til you’ve been together for a couple months and you’ve ran out of things to say.
5 – While on your first couple of dates, if you go to a restaurant, be careful what you order. Eating certain foods, like spaghetti, is not attractive, and can get messy.
6 – Before you get to serious with a person be sure to talk about the taboo subjects that are important to you (like religion, politics, and the future). You want to be sure to avoid major conflicts before you get to serious.
7 – First date no-no’s: Talking about your past relationships, any injuries or ailments you have, and money or your lack of money.
8 – Great first date conversation topics: Travel, food, drinks, work, siblings, hobbies, funny stories about yourself, and outdoor activities you enjoy.
9 – If you asked the person out… you pay for the date, and vice versa.
10 – And finally… be sure to listen to your date, and ask questions. Dating is a two-way street, so if you are bored then it is partly your fault.
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The “Boyfriend” Slot
January 29, 2011 - 12:32 PM
Tags: Boyfriend for Benutty, dating, dating multiple people, fill my boyfriend slot, iphone dating apps, Odyssey of a Huhns Looking for Lovies in San Francisco, OKCupid, online dating, so i kept his book
Posted in Shouldn't Have Said It Then | 9 comments
Sometimes online dating can be fun. Especially when conversations are at one moment intelligent, but then suddenly about sex in the next. Admittedly, I’m usually the one to bring it back to the vulgar… like this conversation I just had with a guy I met on OKCupid. Him: We were dating for a month and [...]
Boyfriend for Benutty, or Odyssey of a Huhns Looking for Lovies in San Francisco
January 3, 2011 - 3:13 PM
Tags: Boyfriend for Benutty, Canon Fodder Book Club, conversations with friendly lesbians, Crepevine, dating, girly man, manly girl, Odyssey of a Huhns Looking for Lovies in San Francisco, Under the Volcano is a conversation piece?, well gosh maybe lesbians arent that bad
Posted in Posts by Benutty | 5 comments
I think I’m ready to do this. I’ve been single for a year and a half now, mostly because I wasn’t ready to date (even if Nick, Jay, and Gary might want y’all to believe otherwise). And I don’t mean “wasn’t ready” in the sense of being traumatized by any past relationship — I wasn’t [...]
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July 15, 2010 - 11:24 AM
Tags: benutty needs a date... any takers?, dating, lick, poke, sees candy, smell, squeeze, taste
Posted in Not-So-Deep Thoughts | 2 comments
Dating is like a box of See’s Candy. You poke, squeeze, lick, taste and smell all your options before finally finding the right one.
Nick’s Greatest Moments: The Ricky Ricardo Incident
April 14, 2010 - 1:10 PM
Tags: chili's, first date, I Love Lucy, movies, nick's greatest moments, oh hellz no, ricky ricardo, sex, watching sex
Posted in Greatest Moments | 19 comments
Even though my track record with meeting guys online had not been very good, I was determined to find myself a man. I set up a date with this guy named Ricky; he was a cute little Mexican with sexy eyes, but he was really skinny… like seriously on the verge of death or collapse. [...]
Question of the Week (02/27 – 03/05)
March 1, 2010 - 4:29 PM
Tags: dumpster, guns, JFK Jr., jizz, Madonna, marriage, politics, Question of the Week, religion
Posted in Question of the Week | 2 comments
This week’s question was asked by Jesse from New York City, NY: Q: Answer the following taboo questions: RELIGION, PHILOSOPHY AND POLITICS: 01) Do you believe in God? –Although I enjoy fairy tales, I do not believe they actually exist. 02) What religion, if any, do you most identify yourself with? –I don’t identify with [...]
GrannypantieGrammys
January 28, 2010 - 7:00 AM
Tags: Beyonce, Grammys, Lady GaGa, overrated, Poker Face, Single Ladies, Sober, Swifty, Telephone
Posted in Posts by Benutty | 5 comments
For real none of us really take the Grammys seriously because everyone is still angry O Brother Where Art Thou won Album of the Year over… wait. Nothing deserved a Grammy that year (see: India.Arie, Bob Dylan, Outkast, U2)! That’s the exact problem with the awards — they are given too randomly, too recklessly, and [...]
February 12, 2010 - 7:58 AM
Good advice but I certainly don’t agree with always giving people a second date. Sometimes you’re just not feeling it and my time is black fat illiterate and molested, girl — it’s Precious.
February 12, 2010 - 10:47 AM
That’s the point douche… People are not themselves on the first date, and sometimes you are going to feel that way, but by giving them a second date it helps you to see who they really are. Their second impression may surprise you. If not, then at least you know. Besides it’s good practice, and a lot better than eating a burrito with extra sour cream by yourself watching Star Trek DS9… that’s right, I said it.
February 12, 2010 - 2:25 PM
No I don’t believe in not trusting your first impression and providing mandatory 2nd dates, douche.
February 12, 2010 - 2:47 PM
I say sex by date three and never on date one. But I’m old fashioned, I suppose.
February 12, 2010 - 2:56 PM
Well I feel sorry for you then Benutty.