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Archive for February, 2010
Month in Media: February
Feb 28th
Let’s take a look at the things in entertainment that the D@2 bloggers loved most in the month of February!
Benutty
YouTube Clip – Jiz: The Abortion Episode by Sienna d’Enima
I’m sorry. The Jiz episodes are like The Amazing Race at the Emmys — they will always be my favorite clips so long as a new one has come out! This one in particular is fucking brillballs2012. The queen that makes these is meticulous about timing and creating dialogue that fits with the characters’ movements. Lovesmucho.
D@2 Post – The Truth about Gary Jr and Alfie…
Alfie doesn’t post often, but this shit killed me. He’s a quick study, having already learned how to be funnier than Nick. Work it, mamiauntieKe$hahoney.
TV Show – Survivor: Heroes vs. Villains
You know I love this shit, mami. On their 20th season and it’s still thought-provoking, fresh, and charitable. The only thing that could make it better is me being cast on a season with Ozzy Lusth. Or him marrying me, thank you.
Music – Rude Boy by Rihanna
This bitch can do no wrong in my book. I even liked her when she got beat up. Even Glambert called this song/video fresh. Her new album is highly underrated, and this song is proof of it!
SNL Skit – New Car Horns featuring Jenny Slate
Hiiii-lo! Jenny Slate will be the new star of SNL once Wiig leaves, suriously. And this clip came just in time to make the February media list — airing Feb. 27th when Jennifer Lopez hosted. This fucking bitch Tina Tina kills me! If you never saw her original skit New Doorbells then you must watch that also. So good. Beep. Honk honk. Whhhhhhhat?
Gary Jr.
YouTube Clip – To the Mothership Sucka by K80Blog
I have always been in love with K80Blog. I think she is brilliant and I love her bestie, KateReadsBooks. Anyhoosiers, they are creative and keep me coming back for more. I wasn’t sure if I should use their interview series but I decided instead on this one. Mostly because I love her lips when she’s talking alien, I love the alien voice, I love the inane discussion about toast and I love the fact that she saved her pup from alien destruction. Awww. Thank you K80Blog. That will be negative $5. Fuck you Charles. I’m a lady! I believe the children are our future.
D@2 Post – The World’s First DeadRuntz Comic
This post killed me! Even though Nick posted it. It was clearly a collaboration between all the hunnies and therefore it was awesome! Honorable Mentions go to a dirty tranny, a hilarious comic from a viewer and a YouTube clip from a troll.
TV Show – Lost
I’m sorry but I need to mention Lost. I need some answers. And I love all the weird stuff that’s happen. Is Jacob bad? Eeee. I don’t know! Is it good versus evil? And I’m so excited. Honorable Mention goes to RuPaul’s Drag Race.
Music – Kids by MGMT
Ever since 3rin mentioned them during our Grammy’s posts, I’ve been listening to them. I’m loving them. Although, I think this video is kinda creepy, I also kinda LOVE it. What the hell is wrong with me? Don’t answer that, you dirty whores.
Olympians I’d Like to Sleep with – Shaun White and/or/threesomes with Evan Lysacek
I could care less about which country wins skeleton or curling. I only watch this shit to fantasy about all the hot bodies. I don’t care if Shaun White is a ginger or not. I’d do him. I love that hair and strong chin. Evan Lysacek….baby, Ima do you and do you hard. Nuf said. Hey Evan, wanna hear a joke. I just put a roofie in your drink. Haha. Funny. But not kidding.
Nick
D@2 Post – So What! Who Cares?!?
This is probably one of my favorite posts of all time. This stupid bitch kills me… seriously someone needs to follow Gary Jr. around and film his life. Poor Misha.
Music – Rocket by Goldfrapp
After her departure from dance/electronica for her last album, bitch brings back the dance with this one. I love the 80′s flare it has, seriously one of the best songs in a long time.
TV Show – RuPaul’s Drag Race
Um how could you not like a show featuring drag queens battling it out to be the next drag superstar. Off it. Plus to make things sweeter, they give these messes alcohol which ramps up the drama. Gay man’s dream.
Sports – The Winter Olympics
I have been obsessed with the Winter Olympics this month!!! It’s so nice to see different types of sports on TV at prime time. Basketball, Football, and Baseball just get so fucking boring to watch all the time. Highlights for me were Snowboard Cross, Ski Cross, Ice Dancing, Luge, Speed Skating, and Figure Skating. It’s sad to write this though because today was the last day of the Olympics… I’m watching the closing ceremonies as I write this, but I guess I’ll have to start looking forward to the 2012 Summer Olympics in London.
iPhone App – Lose It!
Hello… Everybody knows how I am trying to lose weight thru calorie counting n shit, and this is the best app to get for that. It’s so easy to keep tracked of everything, and it even sends you reminders to enter in your meals. You can also add friends, and lose weight together. Sadly none of my friends wanted to join with me.
Spotted: The Nick Family Portrait
Feb 27th
Misha and I had dinner tonight at the Roadside BBQ on Geary Blvd. in San Francisco. I needed to pee and entered the brightly tiled bathroom. Lo and behold! What did my bovine eyes spy?
Someone at the Roadside BBQ broke into Nick’s family home and stole the treasured Nick Family Portrait! I mean that shit is THREE GENERATIONS! They’ve been looking for it for ages.
Well look no further, piggies. Hunnies found it.
The Nick Family Portrait
Nick’s Greatest Moments: The Alley Incident
Feb 27th
Back in my early twenties I was quite the drunk. I’d go to this gay bar in Sacramento called Faces every other night. My favorite night to go was Tuesday because it was Latino night, and we all know how I have a thing for Latinos. Yes! One night while on the dance floor, probably dancing to Thalía’s ‘A Quien Le Importa?’ I made eyes with this one very hot Mexican. We danced together, kissed, took a shot together, danced some more, kissed some more, you know the usual.
So cut to 2am (ahh snaps!) the bar is closed, and everyone is standing on the street talking trying to find someone to hook up with. My hot little Mexican was off talking to his friends, and I was probably being a drunk mess talking to people I didn’t even know. I did that a lot. Next thing I know hottie Mexicali grabs my hand, and drags me into the parking lot. We continued to make out in between random cars while his friends were yelling at him that they were leaving. He grabbed my hand again, and dragged me into the alley behind the bar. We found this little nook to sneak into (I think it was an emergency exit door for some random business), and he went down on me (Yea he was good at it too… jealous Gary Jr.!!!). He finished his job, so now it was my turn. So while I’m down there doing my thing he pulls his shirt up, and puts it over his head. I think he was playing with his nipples or something… I don’t know. I finally glanced up, and I noticed he had tattoos on this chest. Being the ridiculous bitch that I am I decided to multi-task, and figure out what those tattoos are. Of course this bitch had to have the worst two tattoos ever. Jesus and the Virgin Mary. It doesn’t get more Mexican than this folks. Well unless he took a Mexican candle out of his back pocket and lit it. So here I am blowing this guy with Jesus and the Virgin Mary looking down on me. I’m not a religious person, but talk about a buzz kill. So after a protein shake I finally get around to asking him what his name is (classy huh), and it ends up being Larry. What the fuck? What Mexican family names their son Larry?
And that… is one of Nick’s Greatest Moments.
Old Gays is Hating the Brooches, Huuhhhnns
Feb 27th
While BK and I were at Blackbird last night I was wearing a super cuties yes new brooch! While I was waiting in line to order a drink an older gay in a three-piece suit engaged in the following short-lived conversation with me:
Old Gay: (pointing to my brooch) What is this all about?
Me: Its a brooch! You know, to jazz up the look a little!
Old Gay: So you woke up this morning wanting to be Madeline Albright?
Me: hahaha um (pointing to his lapel) Your outfit could have used one right here.
Old Gay: (sarcastically) Yeah when I looked in the mirror this morning I saw that exact spot and really thought it was missing something.
Oops. Ugh.
Put It on Craigslist!
Feb 27th
Oooooh girl! My friend BK and I went out tonight for his 6th birthday (he was born on Feb. 29th!) and honey mami we took some cuties pictures that we need to be hitting up craigslist missed connections/m4m personals with!
You’re welcome.
Question of the Week (02/20 – 02/26)
Feb 26th
Better late than never.
I understand how advertising works, and I hate it but I watch TV anyways so I really can’t complain. In fact, I’ll admit I really enjoy GOOD commercials. But bad, boring, worthless, stupid, annoying commercials are about as bad as belly hairs stuck in a belt. (Benutty Troll I know you feel me on this)
And the worst commercial every made just might be this one
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Stay tuned for the other responses this week.
Not-So-Deep Thoughts
Feb 25th
“Kris Allen’s album is really good when you have it on shuffle with other music… When it comes on it’s like a refresher… like something… refreshing.”
Question of the Week (02/20 – 02/26)
Feb 24th
Q: What TV commercial bothers you the most?
I rarely watch live TV because I’m a professional Digital Video Recording Artist. I really hate commercials. All of them. And my roommate, 3rin, gets a wet vagina for them — sometimes she rewinds them and makes me watch them — because she works in advertising.
Look, bitches. I really hate this commercial. It’s a mess. And in the words of Ellen, “If it’s a mess then it’s a hot mess.”
Oops, actually I think I like that commercial.
These Boots are Made for Hooking
Feb 24th
Last night, Misha wanted to know if I would like to meet him in Berkeley for dinner. I said sure and left the house in a rush. I pop out onto the sidewalk and start walking to my car. Just steps into my journey, I hear someone from behind yelling, “Hey! Boo!” I just kept walking. There was a young cute black woman ahead of me and I figured the man from behind was trying to get at her. Besides, I’m no man’s boo. (Correction…after I told Misha this story, he reminded me that I am his boo).
I approach my car on the next block and this guy is still calling out “Boo!” And there is no cute woman anymore…so panic sets in. This guy is calling out to me! And now he knows where I live and he knows what car I drive. Crap. I turn around and say, “Can I help you?” As soon as I see his face, I know exactly who he is! It’s the Foot Thug-Lite! “Hey Boo! Remember me? I hit you up a while back and you told me you got a boyfriend.”
[The Original Foot Thug-Lite Encounter: A tired Gary Jr. walks to Bart, listening to his iPod. Foot Thug-Lite is sitting on a stoop. He pretends to be thuggish but you can tell is a homo on the DL and therefore a Thug-Lite. Foot Thug-Lite gets Gary Jr.’s attention. “Hey! Hey! Have I seen you in Berkeley before?” He looks around suspiciously even though the entire city block is empty and quietly says, “You look good. I gotta get me some of that.” I respond with “Thanks but I have a boyfriend and am not interested.” And I keep walking. Foot Thug-Lite yells out, “I got money. All I wanna do is see your feet.” Cut to Gary Jr. running to Bart, dialing Misha and screaming out “No thanks. I’ve got a boyfriend.” When I tell Misha the story, he reminds me to always get the money up front.]
Back to the rainy Oakland street and me attempting to meet my boyfriend for dinner. “Yup. And I still have that boyfriend.”
“Well that’s okay Boo. I’m Jason. Nice to meet you.”
“Hi.”
“I don’t have a lot of experience or anything and I’m clean.”
“Okay. Thanks for letting me know but that means nothing to me. And I’m late for dinner.” (Cuz no one comes between me and my feeding time!)
“Can I get your number?” “No.”
“Can we exchange numbers?” “No.”
“Can I give you my number?” “No. Hello.”
Foot Thug-Lite smirks, shrugs and starts to walk away. I open my car door and am about to get in when he stops, turns around and asks me “What about for a hundred?” At this point, a neighbor walking by hears the conversation and laughs. I look right at Foot Thug-Lite and proceed to smash his little DL heart: “Sorry. Not interested. Even for a hundred. My boyfriend always requires $300.”
Basically Foot Thug-Lite is hella persistent. But who can blame him? It must be jelly cuz jam don’t shake like that. With that, I will leave you with this: